Fill-in-the-blank for Dummies: Unemployment for Dummies
Note from the author:
This book was written after many months of practice. While I still do not consider myself an expert, I do consider myself to have adequate background to speak to this intelligently. In this brief introduction, I will outline three key factors for being successfully unemployed. For an extensive discussion on each, please look elsewhere.
Unemployment must be a choice.
If someone is unemployed, yet they want to work, they will never be successfully unemployed. They will always be wishing for something more, which will not lead to a content (if useless) life. While this is sometimes unavoidable, the most successful bums I have met are always bums by choice. They demonstrate the following two characteristics:
- They have significant education. The more expensive the education, the better. I have met several Ivy Leaguers who still rely on their parents for a monthly...let's call it a stipend...and are very happy with their current state of unemployment.
- They have adequate experience working to know that being a bum is how they want to spend the rest of their life. This is an unfortunate truth: in order to be successful in the unemployment realm, you must have experienced the other side.
Support of loved ones.
This is key. Many choose to jump directly into unemployment without first determining how others are 1) affected by such a decision and 2) inclined to help them. This becomes even more complicated when spouses and children are involved In my case, there is no one to answer two but myself and my parents, whose couch I currently inhabit.
If support of loved ones is not forthcoming, might I suggest the following options for gaining it:
- Throw a temper tantrum. Many think that this tactic is valid only for those under five. I have several siblings who continue to use the tantrum as a way to gain their spouse's, and in some cases, children's approval for a given desire.
- Save enough money to justify your new lifestyle. As pointed out in the first factor, in order to be a happy and successful bum, you must first work. During this time, you can save significantly for your future lifestyle as opposed to saving for more material and immediate concerns ( food, clothing, children's educations, etc.). The more you work and save early on, the more content you will be during your bum years.
Willingness to jump back into a job.
While this is not the ultimate goal, many things may force you back into the workforce unexpectedly. Rapid disappearance of cash is the most likely and the most common. When this happens, it is important to look at it as a temporary setback, not a radical change in your goals. While from time to time this may be necessary, do not lose sight of the ultimate goal, that is, to master the art of being a bum.
I hope you found this excerpt useful.